Negativity is the enemy

The truth is when we're feeling down, we can be our own worst enemy. Constantly putting ourselves down, telling ourselves we're not worthy, telling ourselves that we are unintelligent or unattractive. The truth is we're wrong. We are only thinking this way because we're in a moment of sadness, a moment that will not last forever, a moment that will pass, a moment that we'll probably soon forget all about. So right now or maybe recently you may have felt upset, disappointed, angry, hopeless, but these are just temporary feelings and you don't have to remain this way, you can change. You can be happy, you can be proud, you can be hopeful. You just have to change the way you perceive the situation. Start by picking out the positives and then moving on to how you can change or improve things. Give yourself constructive criticism, but do not, I repeat do not annihilate yourself with abuse. Do not lock yourself away from reality, do not insult yourself continuously because you're only filling your head with lies.

Around a month or so ago, I did the same thing. I got the results back for my first essay and I was not happy. I had done the worst out of my group of friends and continually told myself that I was stupid, that I shouldn't be doing a degree; let alone a degree in psychology, I told myself that I was a hopeless cause and I should probably give up before I set myself up to fail again. But the truth is I didn't even do that bad. I didn't fail and I got above the average grade. I didn't do as well as my friends, no. However they're all intelligent people who did really well and they deserved to. Yes I tried hard and yes I was disappointed with my result but I didn't deserve the kind of punishment I gave myself. It didn't help that at the time I was overly stressed with money and was desperately trying to find a job and just kept feeling like nothing was going right.

However I picked myself up and brushed myself off. I decided that I'd just try harder - which at the time I didn't believe was possible. I thought I was trying hard already, clearly not. Eventually a week or so later, I got myself a job. Not just any job, but at Levi's flagship store on Regent street. I had done it. This boosted my confidence, I finally felt like I was getting somewhere. Nearly a month in, I'm doing alright. I get my first payday on Friday which can't come quick enough, but things are picking up. Although I'm having to juggle more things due to working 2-3 days a week & being at uni the other 3. I'm doing alright. The stress levels are being kept to a minimum and I'm pushing myself on. Then today I sat nervously waiting for the results of my 2,000 word essay, watching the clock turn 3, all I could think is I've failed, I've let myself down again. I felt sick. I was so nervous. However I was pleasantly surprised to see I had actually achieved a 2:1. Never did I imagine that would be possible after the previous results. But it was. And the only reason this was possible was because I didn't let it keep me down, I didn't stop trying, I didn't give up. So please listen to me when I say this bad time will pass and you will succeed. You just have to believe.

Shannon x